“and even if i miss you forever,” the words spoken in such a way
don’t have time, the day, the control to stray away from the path
i let it slide, i confide in my pillow at night and wonder why
people ask if it actually happened, if i imagined, this was in my mind
but i wouldn’t wish, speak or even try to feel something so immense
the words break my neck and i feel dead
car through a pole, mind through the deck and now i’m shipwrecked
i’ve died plenty, yet never like this
the past could never bask or even comprehend something so grand
i ask my mind, i plead to bend time, i promise i’ll fix it
but truthfully, i probably wouldn’t and in all likelihood, i still don’t understand
face the eyes of something so bad
as if he were a drug and i’m the dull dud junkie fixing for his heroin
he’s heaven and i miss him, need him without question
his arrogance, my injection, the touch, need and death behind it
i know i’m broken, i know i’ve lost hope and it’s not important
the past was a grand gesture where i never had a proper closure
but it’s alright, we had our time, sat, dabbled in our past as he tried to mask
yet it wasn’t a masquerade and i’ve had my day
held my emotions while stroking his brain, skipping from vein to vein
the questions were his vanity while he walked from humanity
but those nine months, you can’t even understand agony or the insanity
i don’t know where my future lies
but franklin once said, “be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man”
but i honestly don’t believe i’ll ever feel something like that again
the connection, our intimate, the touch and feel of yesterday
i don’t question the cemetery, the village and late nights
nor do i ask for a benefit from your disappearance
but one day i’d like you to understand and feel how i did
not in revenge or a karma induced way, but so i know you’re human and that you can understand pain and how it feels to love a soulmate